BLOW YOUR COOL

Moving On.

2009-05-20T13:34:00.000-07:00

So, as you all can tell, I have completely abandoned this blog because of the chaos of the year. I think I'm moving on to just updating my website, my twitter and my facebook and therefore must move on. It's mostly just stressful to update this thing and not very fun even though the idea is great. I totally wish I could be one of those avid bloggers with witty, interesting updates every day, but I'm the worst.

Thanks everyone for reading the past year or so and I'll see you on the flipside.

love, tati

www.talkingknotsfilms.com
www.twitter.com/tatibarrantes

sin verguenza

2008-12-09T06:57:00.000-08:00

don't look back

2008-12-01T17:09:00.001-08:00

tomorrow is it - the movie begins! i'll be done on Sunday, the 8th so I hope to celebrate and reunite with the rest of the world then. i miss u.

talking knots

2008-11-20T20:20:00.000-08:00

http://www.talkingknotsfilms.com

thanks kyle!

times a ticking

2008-10-23T07:48:00.000-07:00

sorry for the lack of updates. that las one was pretty hyper.

yesterday we went and hung out with soccer players in McCarren Park. Soccer is awesome. I used to play in high school and i looked amazing. haha.

beyond that, we went and hung out to see if they would be down to be in my film and let my two actors join them in a scene. Lisandro, an argentian soccer player who seems to manage the team, was totally into it which is great. It looks awesome at night too.

next, i need a kitchen... a restaurant kitchen...let me know if you kno anyone. :)

casting

2008-10-02T07:31:00.000-07:00

looking for Jesus Ochoa - he would be PERFECT for the part of my lead in my film. YES. Have a script. YES. Like the idea. YAY! Have a DP who's cool.

So things are progressing.

this is Jesus:

we're trying to get him but its a long shot.

i'm actually super nervous with casting. its like a weird version of dating but totally different.

also happy to annouce that my film and Samina's whom I am producing has been sponsored by the following:

Jana Water
Vitamin Water
Kariba Farms
EarthWare
Bagel Smith
Bare Fruit

yeah! still working on like 20 others, but this means we don't have to pay for a lot which is great because fundraising didn't yield enough for my film.

time the eternal revelator

2008-09-13T11:21:00.000-07:00

I've been dealing repeatedly with 'the darkside'. this happens usually after extended periods of staring at a blank Final Draft document. Also, I've come to realize that I often meander down that dark, horribly narrow road after I talk about my film ideas. this is a pretty bad sign, right?

Last semester, I was so open to whatever comments I got. I didn't get upset once - as I remember - but now because of the heightened stakes and the mounting pressure, I feel completely and totally lost in oblivion. I've written about 15 drafts, thrown out an entire script idea, wrote various character biographies, listened to many songs that ere supposed to inspire me, visited a thousand different coffee shops thinking its what i need to write, and finally cried endlessly to a couple different people, including my entire writing class.

now, if you know me, i'm not often crying. i think i'm in an emotional hole where sometimes I feel like the only solution is to buy a plane ticket to Southern India, and ride a motorcycle around with some random strangers from Venezuela. This sounds ultimately perfect for my state of mind, but also like i might be completely missing the point.

I realize that in these moments, where you sit in a barren landscape of creative emptiness (dramatic writing, yes!), that these moments are actually really essential. I think that when things come so easy all the time that in fact the work suffers. And, more importantly the artist suffers because they never go deeper than the immediate and they never grow from the difficulty of working through an idea.

OK, so thats positive. I'm trying to consistently remind myself of positive affirmation because so many people i know are incredibly negative, all the time, and not only will this not allow you to learn from the mistakes you make but also ages you.

I'm working now. I'm going to positively finish a draft this weekend. I WILL.

officially obsessed

2008-09-11T19:10:00.001-07:00

with j.f.

saugerties

2008-08-22T15:16:00.000-07:00

loves it

2008-08-12T22:33:00.000-07:00

LA 2

2008-08-07T09:37:00.000-07:00

check out Esther's blog for photos because I forgot my digi cam. Dud. I just tried to post them but nothin doin - they turned out tiny. Mercedes and I are breaking into the Ritz today. I used to do it as a teenager, but now its become kind of a routine when I come visit.

I've decided that guys are crazy here. Some stupid dude threw a bottle a Caitlin and her friend when they didn't respond to their catcalls. wtf?

LA 1

2008-08-02T12:35:00.000-07:00

so i shouldn't even be writing about such douchebags, but last night we were all hanging out at mountain bar in chinatown and i was talking with Caitlin in this corner table. a group of 6 dudes show up and crow around us even though there was a whole other table right next to us.i was like 'hey, there's actually someone sitting there' and this stupid, ugly fool goes 'well now i'm sitting here so what the fuck are you gonna do about it?" this proceeded until i couldn't stand their stupid faces any more and i said "i guess you feel like a bad man right now intimidating too girls out of their seats" then one dude goes "leave hipsters!" and i turned around and he had slicked back hair, braces and a fucking clash shirt. GOD.

guys in LA are dicks in general i've decided... well maybe dicks is a bit harsh, but they're super aggressive. i honestly don't think that would have happened in nyc. but maybe ... i hate that stupid comment "HIPSTERS!". that shit doesnt even make sense.

anyways.... i felt like venting. thats probably the dumbest post since ... maybe the whole time. caitlin says you should let those people just roll over your shoulder but all i wanted to do was throw my beer in his face.

summers almost done

2008-07-24T08:53:00.000-07:00

its so sad...

i wish i started a better regimen... but, thats summer. days go by super fast and you're not sure what you've done.

When i was 12, i was obsessed with the x-files. I told everyone I wanted to be an FBI agent, to which, surprisingly everyone was ok with. Now, that seems fucking crazy. I bought a bunch of books on conspiracy theory and read up on places like Area 51.Its not that I don't believe there might be extraterrestrial life now, its more that I cant imagine why I ever believe they showed up in saucers. I don't know. Maybe they do and I've just become a "non-believer".

So, in this upcoming X-Files movie it looks like once again Mulder and Scully totally kiss. Rad. Plus, Mulder is back on the case in a serious way.

I guess I should go see that soon.

I'm working everyday on my next film. All of the work is fundraising focused, which is a lot of work. This is why people have executive producers. Whats also exciting is that I am trying to co-write with my very good friend Caitlin. We're in the process of trying to figure out how co-write... I seem to be coming at a bit intensely. I think maybe I should lay off all the charts and schedules. ha. I think I have the tendency to overcompensate with lists and schedules when I'm not producing anything creatively.
i wish i could rock a joan jett haircut, but it would just turn into a weird fro like puff.

piruw

2008-07-17T08:54:00.001-07:00

i miss peru. i'm coming to california soon tho so that should suffice for now.

island fever

2008-07-09T08:12:00.000-07:00

we got to take care of my friend Ed's little baby french bulldog last weekend. soooo cute and cool. suddenly people in the neighborhood were talking to us. he was the hit of the town.
i've really been into cooking lately too. cooking is super meditative for me - sometimes. Especially if I do it for other people. i stuffed a big chicken with currants, sour dough bread, carrots, peppers, onions, fennel root and garlic and roasted that with some pisco, butter and olive oil. then dave made those bomb stuffed onions wrapped in bacon and rosemary from our new herb garden. then i also stuffed some peppers and roasted those guys for way longer than you'd think and they turned out delish.
don brought over a Wii but my TV is super old so it didnt work. Instead we played pictionary but without paper - we used old paper bags and newspaper. pictionary is super hard..way harder than i remember.
next i need to focus and start writing more. i have all this anxiety about the next project we have to do in the fall. super intense. i'll post some ideas later and would love your feedback.

littles

2008-06-20T09:05:00.001-07:00

these little girls became my bff's instantly at a rooster fight. They were super curious about why I was so tall and why I had two cameras. This one below I took for their mom. The older one told me about the earthquake that happened there last year. It was a horrendous earthquake that leveled most of the small adobe houses. A lot of their friends were hurt or killed. We drove through Pisco, the neighboring city, and it was completely leveled. I remember six years when I went last, it was poor but rich culturally. Pisco is one of the hubs of the Peruvian African community.Here's more from the trip.

Been thinkin alot about my future....

2008-06-12T18:08:00.000-07:00

Ricisimo!

2008-06-10T15:24:00.001-07:00

Chambi

2008-06-06T09:46:00.000-07:00

Martin Chambi

Martin Chambi was the first internationally respected native Peruvian photographer. He started in the early part of the 20th century after his Dad passed away working in the gold mines in Puno - and area high in the Andes. He started shooting for postcards and became the most famous and sought after photographers - taking pictures of the Andes, the people that live there, dignitaries, politicians, artists and musicians. My favorite are the photos of the musicians and the bizaar parties he would attend.

Today we are leaving for Ica to go see paso horses in the Sol De Oro competition thats been going on for centuries. Mariano, my dads best friend since they were kids, is a Chalan - I guess the word would be cowboy in English.... but thats not really right. He's worked with horses his whole life, his dad did and his grandfather did. He actually looks a little like a horse. He's taking us to a cock fight too, which I'm a little worried about, but they both say its necessary for me to go as its a huge part of Peruvian culture.
We may also go to Nasca! Nasca is an amazing place.... people say that aliens created these markings in the ground, but c'mon. I believe it was just to communicate with the gods.

They're massive, like the size of several football fields. The way to see them is by flying above in a tiny little rickety plane.

Peru!

2008-06-03T09:38:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting in my grandmothers house in the district of Miraflores, which is a neighborhood here in Lima. I flew overnight so I feel pretty out of it. I never can sleep on the plane, ever.
Tomorrow and Thursday I'm just going to wander around and take some spanish classes so I can be a better Peruvian. I understand it all but when I try to speak, its jibberish.
Friday we leave for Ica, a different city in southern Peru to go to see a horse contest. In Peru, they have amazing horses that were bread to traverse the desert here so they walk a crazy way that I can't explain. Maybe I'll take a little video...Anyways, Ica is where they make Pisco - the peruvian liqour of choice.
Its rad here btw and I wish I could spend more time traveling in other parts of the country and South America. I was on the plane and these two girls my age were backpacking through here.... one day.

ring of fire

2008-05-27T12:58:00.000-07:00

dan packages birthday yesterday and we all went on a coney/brighton beach adventure. super fun. i had this bizaaro laugh attack on the spin out roller coaster and almost peed my pants on the ride. then we went to drink a bottle of grey goose and eat caviar in brighton beach. no big deal. i also had borscht which was Out of Control. So good. visiting new neighborhoods here is the best - its like a completely different world there.

to repeat again from the beginning

2008-05-20T09:34:00.000-07:00

i'm trying to write.....slowly.... i have some writers block or something. this film above was very good. i love how it was assembled.
i have to think about things separately from school so that i can open up the block. ughhh....

boss

2008-05-18T14:31:00.001-07:00

woody allen land

2008-04-26T09:53:00.000-07:00

yay! dave gets back tonite. i'm going all the way to the Upper West Side or "WHERE WOODY ALLEN LIVES!" just to record an awsering machine. wtf. no one has landlines or answering machines anymore - i'm not writing them into scripts again.
yay! esther gets into town tonite too! sf reunions are the best.

squeeky

2008-04-24T09:48:00.000-07:00

TIP CITY is my new mix tape for you guys. its kind of a test run full of old regulars.

i really miss mix tapes so this is a small substitute for the hours i spent when i was 12 rewinding and recording and using scented markers to decorate the outside. gretta, my friend from la who i never see anymore, used to make the best ones. they were each little pieces of art.

american pyscho

2008-04-23T08:00:00.000-07:00

i'm showing my rough cut to Mary Harron tomorrow. Escary. She's very blunt about what she thinks. She's taken over my directing class because my prior teacher got really sick.
Mary Harron said that she hates student films because they always have an epiphany in the end and that they lack the texture of real life. For example, you put a black guy from the hood with a jewish guy from the upper east side and a an old man from michigan together in brooklyn and they all talk the same.
I thought that was pretty funny. I really like her films though and respect her style - thats one thing that makes her even more intimidating. She directed American Pyscho and I Shot Andy Warhol, which I saw when I like 13, and I guess most recently she directed the Notorious Betty Paige which I have yet to see.

Tonight David Mamet is coming to talk to us. The thing is I don't really know that much about him but everyones shitting their pants about it.

Its warm here in NYC and I CANT WAIT FOR SUMMER TIME. I have to get a job asap. I'm leaving for Peru in late May and then I have to get a job - anyone?

new desert

2008-04-16T09:24:00.000-07:00

I just got back from Tucson. I guess things have really changed there. All the adobe houses have been torn down and its just a strip mall after strip mall. But then, when you get out into the desert a little more you realize why people fall in love with it. It was incredibly still and clean and everything was blossoming, all the cacti and little bushes full of yellow and red flowers.
We had a ceremony for my great grandmother so we could finally bury her ashes. She died in 1996, actually. But I think my grandmother just has been too involved and also perhaps a little attached to having her mom around. So we had a ceremony at this weird old cemetery. A huge highway basically cut right through it. The pastor never knew anyone from our family and my uncle kept calling him chester the molester because he was really like a Flanders or something. Then the funeral director was bizaar. He had No Personality. He just stood there with his arms crossed under this tree and stared. The weirdest part about it all was that my great grandfather, whom we were supposed to be burying my great grandmother with, didn't have any type of marker. He was just "there" as the funeral director said he was. He regrets to inform us that no marker was ever placed, that in fact, my great grandmother wanted a Valle Verde tree planted there but they never did that and now its Not Allowed. He still has no personality as he's saying this.
We were all kinda leaving the ceremony a little bit weirded out. Suddenly, my grandmother grabbed her ashes and said she wasn't leaving her mom here. We were all like "Yea! I don't think she'd like it here anyways!"
So, Grandma Ruth came with us everywhere we went. We went to Lunch and she was there. We went to Dinner, and she was there. Whats odd is that even though we didn't ask for an extra seat at the table, there always was one, by accident.
The desert can make you feel crazy. I started sleep walking every night I was there. The first night I got out of bed 3 times thinking I was on set. I kept turning on lights and saying "striking". My poor aunt, who I was sharing a room with, was like "why are you turning on the light again?" The next night I got up and stood over and shook her saying "We have to take the ashses!"
Jesus. I haven't slept walked since I was like 12 and that was in Mexico when I ended up in my best friends parents bedroom and sleeping in their bed. That means I walked up a flight of stairs. So very crazy... but come to think of it, that area was kind of a desert too.
The last night we were there we all piled into two cars and drove out to the Sabino Canyon, a state park. We had Grandma Ruth with us and we found a nice old Saguaro cactus and Valle Verde tree for her and sprinkled her ashes there.

I think she would have loved it - she was an eccentric person who truly loved the desert and even though she was religious, I think ultimately this was a far more religious experience than the cemetery and that pastor.

so how was the war

2008-04-03T20:32:00.000-07:00

I just finished my little adaptation - well - finished shooting it. We wrapped last Sunday actually but I seriously needed like 4 days to recover from it. Its crazy how I live completely on adrenalin while I'm directing. I don't get tired, I just get wired and weird.
Right now we're in day 2 of shooting my DP's film. Its a bigger production, with lots of locations, and a crazy camera, but its a great script and I have a feeling its going to be a good one. I'm assistant camera on it which is good - learning tons.
My film worked out pretty good. This time I decided to let go of being so controlling over the shots. I set the frame and trusted my dp to do it which allowed me to focus completely on the actors. SUCH A BETTER EXPERIENCE when you decide to hand over control to someone else. I think I checked the frame like 8 times total in the 2 days we shot - which is a record....
One thing I learned the most about is the importance of casting. I kinda wasnt too stoked on how things turned out with my actor, but it is what it is. It was rushed in the end.
I've been listening to bon iver kindof religiously lately. I would recommend it highly.. skinny love

hairy night

2008-03-26T08:19:00.000-07:00

gondry brain

2008-02-24T21:33:00.001-08:00

there will be blood

2008-02-20T21:10:00.000-08:00

Robert Elswit came by an talked tonite at my school. He shot all these great films like Boogie Nights, Good Night and Good Luck, Syriana, Punch Drunk Love and There Will be Blood.
He taught me that:
1) you are only as good as your questions
2) the better you know the space the better your composition and/or adapt according to location
3) body language is more important than dialogue so shoot wide

pretty rad. i feel really lucky to be in this program

dudleavy

2008-02-03T22:09:00.001-08:00

holy shit this blog is boring. i really need to spice shit up but eh.

right now i'm working on my documentary - its about a girl in the nyc roller derby league. she's cool, the league is very cool. totally the opposite of me with the whole athleticism thing and girl power thing.

the next proj is a 7 minute adaptation. this is fun. i like adapting what other people have already written - i find it far more productive.

baby, the cat, is super big now. she's like a lady all of a sudden. i keep telling dave we have to get her fixed, but he says "shes still a baby". i mean... she's huge now.

anyways, i'm sorry i'm so boring. i want to make this far more interesting than it has been but i'm just distracted. i also cant find the stupid cord that connects my camera to my computer.

dark undercoat

2008-01-19T09:44:00.000-08:00

humanoid

2008-01-17T22:13:00.000-08:00

Robot Controlled by Monkey Across the Sea
AFP
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Thinks Like a Monkey

Jan. 16, 2008 -- It may walk like a Japanese robot, but it's thinking like a monkey in the United States. Japanese and U.S. researchers said Wednesday they have created a humanoid robot that acts according to the brain activity of a monkey all the way across the Pacific.
The experiment was part of efforts to develop prosthetic limbs which can be mentally controlled by people with disabilities.
A laboratory in the western Japanese city of Kyoto unveiled a 62-inch-tall humanoid, with a friendly-looking face including bulging black eyes, who walked via signals coming into its legs through wires.
Researchers said the robot was responding to the cortical brain activity of a monkey that was walking attached to wires on a treadmill at Duke University in North Carolina. The signal was sent via the Internet.
"We were able to detect the monkey's brain activity while walking on the treadmill and relay the data from the United States to Japan," the state-backed Japan Science and Technology Agency said in a statement.
"For the first time in the world, we were then able to make our humanoid robot in Japan walk in real-time in a similar manner as the monkey," it said.
The robot was designed by the Japanese agency and Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh to move by responding to brain activity signals.
Duke University had trained two monkeys to walk on two feet on treadmills. The activity of the animals' hundreds of neurons was recorded from their cortex and converted into data that could be transmitted online.
"We can say that we have made another big step to the realization of a neural prosthetic device that could one day restore lower limb motor functions for paralyzed patients," the statement said.

Gott Nytt År again

2008-01-12T11:13:00.000-08:00

Barrio

2008-01-04T12:58:00.000-08:00

no peru till may. i'm bummed but i think its probably a better choice considering i would only have like 8 days there and the trip requires a lot of travel within peru that would take up a huge chunk of the time. however, maybe this will allow me to plan a better trip for myself with more focus instead of just being sheparded slack jawed style.
here are my resolutions (this way i can look back at them and see which ones i actually accomplished, if any):

1. better health, more exercise
2. travel more
3. bring camera and notebook everywhere i go
4. write more
5. play music
6. listen to reason i.e. don't self-destruct

these are the 6 that i really want to work on.... there's definitely more but those just turn into life goals ultimately. ANYWAYS. i've continually forgot my camera in my backpack here at home so thus the lack of interesting updates. resolution #3 should get me more organized though.

merry christmas!

2007-12-25T13:49:00.000-08:00

desert cold

2007-12-21T17:45:00.000-08:00

i've decided i don't want to put my little movie up here right now. eh. over it, very ready to move on. perhaps, if you visit us we can all sit around and watch it while drinking copious amounts of RED WINE. my critique went really well though. i've never had such on point and well said criticism in my life. it was super helpful and inspiring.... so anyways, not going up right now. maybe later when i'm happier with it.

beyond all that noise, i'm in los angeles till the 6th of january. might go to peru too. thats a random new thing i learned when i got home. my family is going to peru and didn't really let me know, so i think they felt bad and invited me. my dad started an NGO in the peruvian andes to protect the watershed, because clean water is a big commodity in peru. so, maybe be back on the 6th maybe not.

i wish i could keep better track of posting on this thing. it's truly a lazy thing when i don't, which is disturbing to me. i hate laziness more than anything. "what are the two most common human traits?" "i dunno, what?" "fear and laziness"

i'd say thats probably correct when you look at all the problems we invent.

anyways, la is nice right now. i like being here, beyond being insanely broke. my very good girlfriends are here too which makes me happy. tonite is Caitlins tasting premier of her and Ola's new catering company Salty and the Swede which i'm thrilled to announce. i love swedish food... mmmsters.

take on me

2007-12-13T08:09:00.000-08:00

today is my evaluation. poops. intense. i sit in front of 25 professors and they supposedly berate you the entire time and you're not allowed to speak. rad. tons of beer later for sure.

i'll post my little piece later this week. more pictures of star status dave later too.

xoxo

mystery cab, grave diggers and a black cauldron

2007-12-08T08:54:00.001-08:00

too much nothing

2007-11-26T19:57:00.001-08:00

all we've done is watch tv for the past four days. so gross. over it. being broke is such a bummer in ny. everything seems to revolve around money lately. i'm grateful for my nice apartment thats comfy n clean and has a little kitty kicking it in it. we tried to teach her how to use the toilet recently and she thoroughly denied it. sucks. its the one thing i hate about cats.

i show my film to my class tomorrow nite. we'll see how it goes. its not finished, just a very rough cut.

TRIUMPH

2007-11-18T11:06:00.001-08:00

an adopted name

2007-11-17T14:01:00.000-08:00

Discovering so many sentimental things lately. i think its the weather. its cold and dark out and its hardly 5 o'clock. i've spent some time thinking about the temporal nature of everything, especially relationships. things move so quick. when i turned 24, four people i knew in my life passed away. one after the other, two at a time. when i remember them, i always remember them laughing because that was when they were most beautiful. any negative parts of them i have somehow stored in a place that eventually disintegrates, and i think thats probably good, because they're gone and there's no need to judge them.
its amazing that i'm here and that i'm in this very committed relationship. its been 2 years, which is crazy to me. sometimes i look around our apartment and get scared. i don't how normal that is, but i think it goes along with the temporarlity of things. dave always says 'change is the only thing constant in our lives' and thats something i haven't thought about enough.
i ran across a friends blog and became very quiet. i've been reading it for the past hour, and its been this odd combination of feelings, generally melancholic and nostalgic. he's constantly traveling to random towns and living and working at places like the waffle house or something just to try a different sort of life. sometimes i feel like i'm wasting time, and i had a definite feeling of loss as i read his stories. i would never do what he does, but i wish i had the balls too try something like it. i'm constantly preparing for some time in the future where things will become solidified. i don't mean solidified in the sense of a house and family (please, not so generic) (not to judge those who aspire for this, however), but perhaps more about success, which is very ethereal.

---
i stepped outside this morning, into
the cold stark ocean of traffic from
the near by expressway
i found kids toys broken on the ground,
two small vintage plates
a microwave
and shoe
laying lonely in the cement, left
and forgotten.
these things bring memories
of sitting for hours, on my old porch
in shorts and tank top, put on me by my mother, who is soaking beans
in the kitchen.
i'm staring to the street, past the sidewalk that meets the lawn
boys ride by, call my name
men drive by, i avert my eyes
the women, in the neighborhood, are dragging furniture out to the street
things no longer needed,
by dwindling families
and i remember, feeling sad, for objects
whose gloomy, limp parts, broken and abused, sat waiting
for their end

control

2007-11-09T07:28:00.000-08:00

just got back from POUGHKEEPSIE, NY, population 30050. we spent a couple nights up there working on the last of our crews short films. she made a period piece where a woman decides to lay down and die in a grave she dug herself. pretty ambitious, but i think the film will look great.

i saw this before i left and have been thinking a lot about it from a photograpy stand point. its fantastic. so i recommend it - its still playing here at east village cinemas.

back to school on monday. booooo.... i like production period the most.

the analogy of contrary

2007-11-06T08:52:00.000-08:00

yesterday, we went to MOMA for the first time since we've moved here. There are certain moments where I become incredibly excited when I remember I live here. Its a feeling of endless possiblities and endless things to do. Thinking back to like 3 years ago when I just thought about NY as a far off notion, I had this incredible fear that I would be beyond broke, living terribly in some horrendous, loud apartment. I guess I just was scared of moving to such a huge and overwhelming place. So far, I have yet to be overwhelmed in a negative way. Every type of person lives here. Every type of artist lives here. You could go 12 blocks and be in a totally different world. anyways, i've had some days off recently and i've been able to appreciate everything a little more. dave and i walk for hours and find new places and see new people and things every corner we turn.

Seurat is on exhibition at the MOMA. I've loved his drawings for a long time. His tiny dots make up an environment where the subjects and the background move in and out of each other. they look like high contrast film stills from afar and molecular biology up close.below are a couple of nice ones, but nothing like the exhibit. google searches didnt render much.

seurat said...

Art is harmony. Harmony is the analogy of contrary and of similar elements of tone, of color and of line, conditioned by the dominate key, and under the influence of a particular light, in gay, calm, or sad combinations.

just as you are

2007-11-03T19:50:00.000-07:00

i've always loved this dedication john steinbeck wrote for his novel east of eden. i thought of it today while coming home with a box of Veniero's which is the best italian bakery in the east village. awww mannn... akiva and i went crazy and bought a couple pounds of pastries after drinking beers at an old man bar adam likes ( i like it too though).
beyond the happiness of egg cream, i'm bummed i didn't get any stills from my shoot beyond the ones i posted below. my camera battery died which Never happens. but i'll import some later as i'm editing. tomorrow i'm on set for another crew member. ho hum. i'm ready for the thrills and kills of high speed action films. wish we were making one. below is the sentimentality i was talking about above that Steinbeck thought of while hanging out in central california, near the coast. i wonder who pat is....

Dear Pat,
You came upon me carving some kind of little figure out of wood and you said, "Why don't you make something for me?"
I asked you what you wanted, and you said, "A box."
"What for?"
"To put things in."
"What things?"
"Whatever you have," you said.
Well, here's your box. Nearly everything I have is in it, and it is not full. Pain and excitement are in it, and feeling good or bad and evil thoughts and good thoughts- the pleasure of design and some despair and the indescribable joy of creation.
And on top of these are all the gratitude and love I have for you.
And still, the box is not full.
John

stay with me

2007-11-01T12:07:00.000-07:00

the reckoning

2007-10-26T09:12:00.000-07:00

i shoot my film this weekend. goodbye till mon! i'll be sure to have some stills of my beautiful actresses sunbathing on an amazing rooftop under the bk bridge. xo till then ps i love this song. not sure how to stream it on here right now, maybe later but here's the link Robert Wyatt's Just As You Are its my newest inspiration. reminds me of cassavettes

more than this

2007-10-23T22:02:00.001-07:00

makes me happy

R.I.P. SIMON

2007-10-22T13:45:00.000-07:00

one of the most loving creatures i've ever met.

good health

2007-10-20T10:45:00.000-07:00

HEALTH is officially one of my new favorite bands. so so good. i guess last nite was the last official mall appearance. it was sad. they're amazing. the kids here go crazy for them.

ps i love sf reunions. i invite you personally to come.

plotting and waiting

2007-10-19T09:12:00.000-07:00

we're in what's called "production period" through November 12th. It's been cool so far, except a few set backs here and there. I was the director of photography on the first film we just finished last weekend. basically, our class is broken into several crews of 5 or 6 and each of the crew members make their film with the rest of the peeps as crew. dp'ing was pinche stressful, especially because it was film. i could have done a better job (i think) if it was video, but i guess that's obvious. the thing that started stressing me out was exposure and focus, the two most important things a dp should be exact with.
right now i'm doing preproduction for my shoot thats happening on the 27th and 28th of oct. OMG. i have great actresses though and i think its going to be ok. plus, dave's gonna be the ill craft service/pa guy. the only issue is locations - i've had a hard time getting permission for a restaurant front and for this roof top. so, we're gonna sneak the rooftop which is a scary thing. i would hate to get kicked off mid-shoot.

ANYWAYS this is the town i want to visit asap. VALPAIRISO, CHILE

Non Abita Più Qui

2007-10-12T13:59:00.001-07:00

wish you were here!

CLOSE UP

2007-10-11T10:15:00.000-07:00

this is the technique bob nickson showed us for planning out shots. he's our producing teacher.

inspired by...

2007-10-07T13:47:00.000-07:00

this is just for yucks

hit and quit it

2007-09-27T19:31:00.000-07:00

our camera tech teacher says hit it and quit it all the time. my directing teacher says "efficient" when he doesn't like your work. so, now we say it like twenty times a day when we're shooting.
we shot last weekend in the rain. it was crazy because we were in what felt like a hurricane for a minute. we shot these basketball courts though, and it turned out beautiful. the same day, we headed to a friends roof and got the rest of our shots down. the city looked amazing after the rain.

birds

2007-09-21T16:20:00.001-07:00

soy cansada

2007-09-18T19:31:00.000-07:00

soooooo tired right now. i can't stand it... it sucks because we don't have tv. but there's this whole arguement as to why we don't have tv. it sucked up most of my sf life, what with Damian's amazing set up (42 inch flatscreen, every channel possible, surround sound, ps3). so, now we download tv shows and watch our movies over and over again. its kinda dumb actually. i'm thinking i might buy cable while dave's gone. especially since i mostly just spend time on the internet now versus in front of the tv. i'm pinche creatively tapped out from school, i'm not gonna come home and paint a picture and compose three songs on the guitar (this is what we thought we'd do with our free time). the thing is, when you're in a relationship it can get way too comfortable just watching a shitload of tv and movies together, drinking/smoking and going to bed. i really think that can lead to a downfall. so... i guess its all about balance.
i'm working on my script right now. its a story about two best girfriends who understand each other's needs/wants tacitally. one of them has a new boyfriend who has zero personality and both realize they are in love with each other through a series of interactions. we'll see. the assignment is 4 minutes, no dialogue, all exteriors. this is what we have to focus on for the entirety of this semester. would you like to audition for Emma, Sara or Jason? god. i'm so cheesy. its so hard to avoid turning everything i do in a bad levi's commercial.

kisses are a better fate
than wisdom
-e.e. cummings

homies came to visit

2007-09-14T09:10:00.000-07:00

the wit of the staircase

2007-09-08T19:43:00.001-07:00

i was so sad to hear about jeremy blake and theresa duncan's suicides. i have always loved jeremy's work and followed him since punch drunk love and beck's sea changes. i was supposed to see him speak back in 2005 but never made it to the sfmoma that evening.... i think i had to work a late shift at BAVC then, so dumb. that exhibit was fantastic though, and i remember thinking how ahead of his time he was.
the church of scientology is by far one of the most bizaar and honestly scariest religious inventions created in the US. Its connections to the conservative right, to hollywood and to politics and money are, i guess pretty normal sounding. but it becomes creepiest when you know someone who's actually getting sucked into it. and by sucked, i mean completely and totally. once you have a toe in the door you are commited for life. my friend caitlin told me how her mom came to LA in the late seventies and had a small run in with the church. she said that upon realizing that she was not interested in joining they threatened her by saying that she would never, ever work another day in los angeles or california and that they would "crush her" by killing her reputation. well, she ended up escaping through a bathroom window in the church. crazy. i have another friend who went through whats called "purif" where u purify yourself until they decide you are cleansed of your sins - or toxins. you have to spend 5 hours a day in a sauna until you are pure. this friend spent 44 days straight in the sauna. this just doesn't sound correct to me.... jesus. well, as long as they have an ambassador like this guy things should just keep being prosperous for them.

sorry...

2007-09-05T17:26:00.000-07:00

i lost my camera cord apparently and now cant get fotos off my pinche camera. thus, the long pause between posts. its also been pretty hectic up in here. i started class this week. I'm taking 8 classes! Thats fucking crazy! WTF are they thinking! Plus, a few other informational/tech sessions thrown in there for good measure. So, my weeks are completely full and my weekends are full with production exercises. This weekend i'm shooting a scene within a shot kind like this:

sooooo... thats whats going on. I'll post more later - fotos of some good homies that came thru... our house warming... etc.

con carino, t

thanks to maine

2007-08-22T10:02:00.000-07:00

un petite monstre

2007-08-22T09:57:00.001-07:00

new apartment and a new little beast

alumni.

2007-08-20T07:09:00.000-07:00

all of these dudes came from the school i'm going to start in 2 weeks.... its stressing me out.
martin scorsese
spike lee
joel coen
morgan freeman
ryan fleck - half nelson
johnathan dayton and valerie fari - little miss sunshine
ang lee
jim jarmusch
susan seidelmen
oliver stone

there's a bunch more i don't feel like writing. its really exciting ... but i guess its still a man's world

i was going to put a bunch of trailers for some great films that have come out of the program - but here's just one of my favorites.

goodfellas

walking aimless

2007-08-17T08:45:00.000-07:00

dave's in Maine till tomorrow. He's been gone for a week... its so wierd to be here alone. It's not even like I feel very lonley. It's wierd here because you're so constantly surrounded by people and things and noises that you don't feel alone. But I guess that would be different if I didn't have a guy coming back home to me. I have done basically a whole lot of nothing this week. I walked a lot. I walked through my neighborhood into this awesome neighborhood called Fort Greene. It's super diverse there - every race is there kicking it in rad restaurants and bars. Then I walked back down Atlantic Ave and there's this amazing cupcake bakery there where the cupcakes are just about the size of your face. Then over into a really wealthy part of brooklyn called Brooklyn Heights. There's these huge old mansion brownstones and trees and gardens and they sit along the water. Then the next day I went into Manhattan and walked up in Gramercy Park to look at this couch we're thinking about buying. We had this shitty experience wtih russian movers and now I'm all sensitive to russian intensity. Once I went into the shop and the Russian sales dude with a chin strap and pony tale started semi-yelling at me about buying the couch, I went into defense mode and ran out.
Akiva and I met up and I ate the bomb bagel and lox here:

and i watched this french film called Dans Paris at the IFC. It was good.... made me feel like I should probably live in Paris for a little while. This is not a new idea. I'll hopefully get there in a few years. There's this new series they're doing at the IFC next week called the New Talkies. I dunno... its this "new" wave of young filmmakers that use like zero money on their budgets and make really self conscious twenty-something films about 'coming of age' and work and relationships and stuff. It's totally a good subject and I actually like the sensibility and the look of the films. I just feel like the people making the films remind me of the same kids who dominated the editing rooms and theaters and stuff back in college. They're not quite gamers or thespians, thats harsh, but they're totally liberal art school nerdy white kids. Thats not a bad thing... I can't really explain what it is about them that bugs me. Maybe its partially that there isn't any diversity in their filmmaking. There doesn't have to be ... WHATEVER. here's the trailer for one of them that looks ok.

Tonite, maybe bbq at schuylers... I'm not sure. I'm ready for dave to be back. Everything is still in boxes ... transitional limbo continues.

dear dreammaker

2007-08-12T19:15:00.001-07:00

dave's show was awesome. it looked perfect in the space and tons of homies came out. it was kinda like sf again... in a really good way. adam played some beautiful music and ellery and sonny smith were supposed to play, but the super rich tenants above the gallery weren't having it. i guess they pay 10k a month, so they're allowed to shut down a show immediately. anyways, fecalface should have more fotos up soon. congratulations to dave - two weeks in and his own photo show in soho on one of the oldest, most famous and most expensive blocks in nyc.

old times

2007-08-08T08:36:00.001-07:00

la casa

2007-08-05T07:52:00.000-07:00

WE HAVE AN APARTMENT!

it's been a long, hard road friends. but we have one. my friend Akiva said we're typical Californians with how shocked we were at trying to get a spot ... everything you heard, is absolutely true: small (i mean, No room-like bathroom in the kitchen in the bedroom), bug invested, view to a brick wall or construction and price that at 2300. We almost applied for a spot in alphabet city... it was really pretty, actually, but we would have ultimately had to put down close to $7000 just to move in. so... i am kind of sad about not living in the city. Carrol Gardens is super nice though. Its where Al Capone got married too. Dave read that in a sandwich shop up the street. Mafia shit has always intrigued me, so thats a plus. outside, old italian dudes hang out in lawn chairs and smoke and drink and talk. we walked up to Court street which is where stuff is and a little jazz band was playing in a courtyard. there's gardens in front of every brownstone. it's nice.... its grown up, but its also super charming. PLUS, we have space. We have space for you to visit.. which i'm really happy about. everything we saw before, you would have had to sleep in our closet, standing up.
Yesterday, Kyle, his roommate, me and Dave took Don's car to jersey to go to ikea. it took 3 HOURS just to get out of the city. and,seriously, we were only like 15 blocks to the tunnel. the traffic was unreal. we were just about to enter the bridge when the car went under empty, so we had to get out of line and get gas - all the way across town. gas stations are wierd here... i can't really explain it, besides, its pretty uninteresting. By the time we got through the tunnel and onto the turnpike it was like 5 pm, when Don wanted his car back. sucky. sorry don. I loved driving there tho, because everything reminded me of the Sopranos intro, and in all honesty, i believe its the best written drama on TV since....i couldn't tell you what. here's what our drive looked like:

today is target day.... and then unpacking.... and then i have to read 12 books and watch 40 films before the 28th. i have this horrible fear that i'm going to completely flunk out, so i need to get started immediately.

blow your cool

2007-08-02T19:42:00.000-07:00

every day, dave and i get on the wrong train. it's so fucked up. every time, i totally look around and make sure no one saw us go back up the 3 flights of stairs to where we started out at. and then dave yells fuck and is sweating profusely because i made him wear pants. this was pretty much wasted logic. i thought that we had to look nice to get a spot to live, you know, play a certain part- VERY WRONG. you can be a fucking scumbag as long as you have 40 times your rent and good credit. plus, Anyone and Everyone is a broker. and they are some of the scummiest of the scumy. its a big bummer we even have to use them because they make you feel like shit, tire you out and basically create a general feeling of hysteria and desperation. this week has been pretty bad. its good to see homies, but i'm mostly stressed about a bunch of other shit to really have a good time. and i feel guilty spending a dollar right now. today it was 90 degrees. so, thats bad but when its 90 degrees and there's absolutely no air and its sticky and hellish in china town, you want to die. we kind of always joke about jumping in front of trains, but its really not that funny.
there was a rapist in the lower east side. i made it a point to tell people about it. some people just don't want to scare you, but ultimately i want to know. he was assaulting women at like 4 am. one girl was being attacked and her boyfriend saw what was happening in the hallway from the street. he broke the glass of the door and starting screaming at the perv. i thought this was amazing. anyways, the guy just got caught. he worked just at 11th street and ave a. FUCKED UP.
DAVE'S BIRTHDAY just happened..... we had a great dinner... we saw a film.... it was raining, but it was nice.... and then we met up with friends..... i think things will only get better from here. i'm positive.

girlfriend.

2007-07-27T19:29:00.000-07:00

caitlin and leah are two of my very best friends. caitlin just moved to la from ny, which is ridiculous. but, she'll be happier there most likely. quality of life is something we've been talking about more. its pretty basic shit that you forget about that really makes a difference: produce, gardens, easy access to the water, weather.

i just want to tell everyone that blogging is fucking tedious. i'm spending way too much time trying to resize fotos. IS THERE A BETTER WAY? ughh... .

the calm before the storm.....

2007-07-22T19:56:00.000-07:00

we stayed in L.A. for 10 days. i have schizophrenic feelings about los angeles. one moment i'm completely in love with it; i love driving at night on the fwy through downtown when its hot out and there's good radio on. i love my families house. i love the wierdness of la and all the dives you can end up at. My dad and I went to whats called "junkyard row" to get a light for my car. That place was one of the wierdest I've been to in la.. and as a kid i had to go with my dad all over to wierd places and wait in the car while he managed one of his hundreds of businesses. no pictures tho... the junkyard dudes like to be discreet.
we went to one of the prettiest beaches i've been to in la... mercedes took us through this crazy route through the valley, into woodland hills, and thru the mountains to a place called point dume. you hike down into it and the water was perfect..........pinkberry is pinche delicious. get some.